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The Cost Of Not Choosing A Guardian For Your Children

I am frequently asked whether or not someone should get a will. It is a good idea for everyone to have a will, however if  someone has minor children I feel so strongly about it that I think it should be a requirement to have one so that a guardian can be named.

If something happens to both parents of a minor not choosing a guardian can have a tremendous impact.  It is a hard choice to make, and often it comes down to a tie between two people which is a tough choice to make.  The lack of decisiveness freezes people and causes no decision to be made.

 

If you don’t have long term guardians named in a will, it doesn’t matter if you recorded it in a video or wrote it in on a piece of paper, your designated guardian choice is not locked in.  If something happens your personal representative will open probate in your name. People will petition the court and ask the court to be named the guardian’s of your kids. They will demonstrate to the court that they are able and willing to be a good choice to be your guardian.  At the end of the day the person who is making that choice on who will raise your kids to teach them values and show them the way is going to be a judge.

For most people this gets super real when you think about the people who look good on paper and may be good people but have different values or belief systems and you may not want them to raise your kids.

A judge doesn’t know what your values are and what is important to you.  They look at a piece of paper and make a choice on who the guardian will be.  It’s the best choice the judge can make, but not always the right choice. You don’t get a say in the process.

It is definitely a  tough decision to make.  You may not have an A choice.  You and your spouse may not agree on who to chose..  Choosing from your B choice is better than not making a decision.  Make the right choice for now. Don’t look way ahead into the future.  Make the best choice for today. You can always change your choice. If you can’t decide with your spouse, make a deal and someone has to win.  There has to be someone who you can live with. Make a deal that one year from now you revisit your guardian selection. Has anything changed? Have people come into our life that makes someone a better choice.  Update it as life goes on. An estate plan like all parts of a financial plan change over time.

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